‘The Resort’ Is An Underwhelming Hawaiian Nightmare

A still from 'The Resort'. Three friends, one girls stood in between two boys, are walking through what looks like an abandoned building. The girl is shining a torch in a doorway, everyone's faces are shocked.
Vertical Entertainment

The horror genre is riddled with bad films. Films so terrible they’re borderline incredible. Sometimes nothing can beat the great relief that comes from switching off your brain and watching dumb hot people get sliced and diced with ridiculous execution. With this in mind, it’s utterly disappointing that The Resort fails to deliver on anything its premise promises.

Following two painfully generic heterosexual couples on their travels to an abandoned resort in a paranormal search for ‘The Half-Faced Girl’, Lex (Bianca Hasse) is presented as a lousy final girl while the film jumps from past to present as she recalls what happened to her friends. Lacking in any interesting or complex romantic development between the characters, the instant reveal of Lex’s apparent survival unfolds in a boring, steady paced plot on top of the lacklustre emotional narratives.

Written and directed by Taylor Chien, The Resort has a run time of only 75 minutes, yet still finds a way to over stay its welcome. For the majority of the film it attempts to embody the qualities of a great character driven horror. Instead, it falls flat on its face as it is severely lacking in any real character development, providing the first half of the film with nothing but the boring and generic socialisation of two dimensional heterosexual couples and the discussion of basic philosophy.

This kind of story has been told a thousand times, it’s a basic horror blueprint, providing the perfect opportunity to showcase some real artistic talent and acting. Yet, The Resort squanders any real potential it possess as the clunky acting, bland aesthetic and lack of subtext contribute to the overall snooze fest it becomes.

Instead of paying homage to the horror classics it so desperately wants to be, The Resort ends up being a cheap mash up of The Blair Witch Project and The Evil Dead. Predictable, forgettable and cliché, but not without particular moments of genuine horror, The Resort’s best moments shine through in the final act. Scenes of face ripping and possession work as the most exciting and captivating part of the entire film, although ultimately the build up to these scenes is painful and barely worth the wait. Tied together with a cheesy ending, The Resort is a waste of time from start to finish, saying nothing and contributing nothing to the genre.

The Resort is available in select cinemas and VOD now

by Kelsie Dickinson

Kelsie (she/her) is a super gay masters student at The University of Glasgow. She loves slashers, but hates capitalism. Her favourite films are It Follows, Midsommar, Lost In Translation and Ghost World. Find her on Twitter.

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