Ranked: 2019 in Movie Taglines

Taglines! Does anyone pay attention to them anymore? Did they ever? Everyone has opinions on what have been the best and worst movies of the year, but how do their taglines match up? Here are 20 of this year’s movie’s taglines, ranked from worst to best.

20. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

‘In this town it can all change… like that’

You know when you text someone but you’re being sarcastic and they don’t understand, then everyone gets confused because you’re on two different wavelengths and communicating tone through text is incredibly difficult? HOW ON EARTH ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW HOW LONG ‘LIKE THAT’ IS? This really isn’t something you can convey in writing, don’t think that using an ellipsis excuses you. I’m not disappointed, I’m just angry.

19. Yesterday

‘Everyone in the world has forgotten The Beatles. Everyone except Jack’

Perhaps the most offensive thing about this is how basic the name Jack is. No offence to any Jack, but what is it supposed to mean to anyone that this one dude called Jack can remember The Beatles? It sounds like it’s trying to come off as really dramatic and wants us to wonder ‘what might Jack possibly do?!’ Probably some quirky antics that make more a very mediocre movie. That’s legitimately a guess, I didn’t even bother to see it.

18. It: Chapter Two

‘You’ll float again’

A bit lazy here. They really didn’t go from It’s “you’ll float too” to “you’ll float two” for the sequel? A missed opportunity! Where’s the thought? Imagine if people landed on the moon again, only to say “…another small step for man”. There would be uproar! Find some creativity, people!

17. Aladdin

‘Choose wisely’

Whether to see yet another Disney remake or literally any other movie available in the cinema? Yeah, choose wisely. This tagline is about as original as this movie.

16. Toy Story 4

‘Get ready to hit the road’

This would work better if Toy Story 4 was actually a road trip movie, but it’s not. It’s an amusement park/antique store movie. It’s not as if these toys have never left the house, either, so there really is no significance to hitting the road.

15. Ad Astra

‘The answers we seek are just outside our reach’

What does this even mean? If you’ve seen this film, this makes no goddamn sense. Yes, they travel to find the answers they are searching for, but the point of the resolution is accepting the answer they lived with all along, not that it still exists somewhere they can’t find it? The answer is staring them in the face!

14. Charlie’s Angels

‘Don’t judge a girl by her cover’

See now this one, you know exactly what it means. They’re spies, so they have covers! And like books, you shouldn’t judge them! Because they’re spies, so they’re deceiving! Simple works sometimes.

13. Spider-Man: Far From Home

‘It’s time to step up’

Remember the Step Up movies? What forgotten gems. Remember Step Up 2: The Streets? That soundtrack was one of the first albums I had on my iPod nano back in the day. Tune after tune. Anyway, this one is ok.

12. Tall Girl

‘When you don’t fit in, stand tall’

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m tall, I’m a tall girl. I don’t fit in. And I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid height on? That’s tall. 

11. Ready or Not

‘In-laws can be murder’

This one kind of makes sense, the less you think about it. It works in terms of the plot, obviously, but does anyone actually describe something bad as being ‘murder’? If you didn’t like the film, you wouldn’t say it was murder, would you? A tagline worth thinking about this much is not worth it. Here’s a better one: “Until death do us part”… because it’s a wedding, get it?

10. Avengers: Endgame

‘Part of the journey is the end’

This is just true, really. Yes, part of the journey is the end, as is the beginning and the middle – but you didn’t see Age of Ultron marketed with that. Of course, this one is much more impactful with the context of how much has led up to this ending. They don’t need a tagline to sell an Avengers film, you already know you’re going to see it.

9. Fyre

‘The greatest party that never happened’

Honestly their tagline should’ve just been “I offered head for water”. That one man single-handedly marketed the documentary for Netflix. In this day and age memes really are the best currency. I’ll take this one instead, though.

8. Joker

‘Put on a happy face’

Yikes. This one works because it’s sad. Say what you will about the film itself, but this tagline perfectly sums up its core idea. Google the phrase now and the first suggestions aren’t the song but the movie that uses it. In terms of marketing, that’s a big win.

7. Shazam

‘Just say the word’

Not to be confused with the song-identifying app, though it would be very cool if that was voice activated. Usually followed by a variation of ‘and I’ll be there’, Zachary Levi literally will be in this movie. If only it worked in real life too.

6. Rocketman

‘Based on a true fantasy’

There couldn’t be a better tagline for this film. A biopic in nature but not in design, Rocketman is a spectacle and that’s something you need to be prepared for going into it. It’s the story of Elton John’s wildest fantasies coming true, told with a little bit of magic. Does what it says on the tin.

5. Midsommar

‘Let the festivities begin.’

It’s the full stop that really makes this. A forceful statement, not a suggestion. Like the film itself, it takes the idea of something pleasant and leans just enough into the uncomfortable that you find yourself on edge before you have even seen it. Let the festivities begin? No thanks.

4. Us

‘Watch yourself

It’s so good you barely notice it. Yet again a phrase said in passing is given a much darker meaning, maybe a theme among horror taglines. Us brought to life the nightmare of doppelgängers and this tagline directly brings you into it. Could it also be said that this is telling us we are watching ourselves by watching the film as a commentary on modern society? Probably, but that sounds a bit too deep – it’s most likely just aiming to hit that right level of spooky.

3. Booksmart

‘Getting straight A’s. Giving zero Fs.’

The moment of euphoria felt by the person who thought of this is something someone can only hope to feel in their life. Giving zero Fs! Get it?! As in the grade and the profanity! Genius. Honestly though, the symmetry, the pun, what more is there to say?

2. The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

‘They come in pieces’

The best part of this play on words is that only LEGO could make it. Well, or a movie about a jigsaw. Or a movie about Jigsaw where he cuts all his victims up into small parts, but this one is much more family friendly! It works because it has LEGO aliens!

  1. Klaus

‘Welcome to the jingle’

Chef’s kiss. This film isn’t even out yet and it has already won. It is selling itself beautifully. Is it about an alternate world in which Santa Claus is actually Guns n’ Roses front-man Axl Rose? Not at all, but that would be pretty cool. I don’t even need to know what it’s about. I want to see it based off this alone. 10/10

 

by Georgia Carroll

Georgia Carroll (She/Her) is a broadcast journalism student from Manchester. She loves all things sci-fi and 80s, but will not watch a horror movie even if you pay her. Outside of film and TV Georgia loves music and radio, so she is a sucker for a good soundtrack (anything synth is an instant bonus). You can find her on Twitter @georgiacarroll_

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